28 April
yihaa, kantor baru. skincare baru !
ketika saya menulis ini, sudah bulan ketiga sejak kepindahan saya dari Balikpapan ke Bontang. entah kenapa, di kantor baru ini hasrat menggebu untuk menumpuk harta duniawi hasil keringat banyak lari ke tumbler alih - alih skincare. jadi, saya beneran selektif banget untuk urusan skincare. apalagi, sekarang local brand dan brand impor harganya udah mirip - mirip. makanya faktor efikasi skincare dan harga berada di urutan prioritas teratas ketika saya memutuskan membeli sebuah produk skincare.
saya beruntung Scarlett masih membanderol produknya dengan harga di bawah seratus ribu. tepatnya Rp. 75.000,00 yang mana ini masih masuk akal untuk saya. namun tidak semua local brand seperti Scarlett. jadi, maafkan saya ya jika postingan skincare menjadi cukup jarang. namun, sebisa mungkin saya akan terus usahakan untuk menulis.
berbicara tentang skincare, tidak bosan bosannya saya sampaikan kepada handai taulan sekalian bahwa bahwa kulit saya tipikal normal - to oily tapi kalau kena produk nggak cocok langsung breakout. kalau pas fase menstruasi saya jerawatan banget. jadi pastikan dulu tipe kulitmu sebelum mencoba produk yang saya review. karena apa yang saya alami belum tentu kamu alami begitu juga sebaliknya.
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Udah lama banget saya kepengen ngerasain experience essence toner + serum dua lapis untuk rangkaian skincare malam saya. karena menurut saya, pemakaian essence toner + double serum termasuk tingkatan skincare advance di bawah retinol. sifatnya high risk high return. harus benar - benar teliti dalam mengkombinasikan sebuah essence bersama serum. begitu pula dengan double serum, memakai dua serum sekaligus dalam satu rangkaian skincare merupakan keputusan pelik. saya harus benar - benar mengerti betul bahwa kandungan dari serum yang akan saya pakai tidak "memusuhi" satu sama lain yang mengakibatkan wajah saya breakout.
dalam pedoman skincare saya, berikut kandungan yang "haram" hukumnya dipakai bersamaan dalam satu rangkaian skincare yang sama :
1. AHA/BHA/PHA + Vitamin C
2. Retinol + AHA
3. Retinol + Benzoil Peroksida
4. Retinol + Salicylic Acid
5. Vitamin C + AHA/BHA/PHA
6. Niacinamide + Vitamin C = aman jika dikemas dalam satu produk
7. Retinol + Physical Exfoliator (scrub)
8. AHA + Vitamin B3
9. Vitamin C + Benzoil Peroksida
10. Oil Based + Water Based
11. dua skincare dengan kandungan bahan aktif yang sama = misal dua toner mengandung AHA dari brand berbeda dipakai bersamaan
berdasarkan bahan di atas, saya agak deg - deg an juga memakai essence toner, acne serum, dan glowtening serum secara bersamaan. namun, saya memberanikan diri karena ketiga produk ini masih berangkat dari seri dan brand yang sama : scarlett acne series face care.
kenapa saya segitunya bernyali langsung hantam kombinasi baru dari tiga produk sekaligus ? jawabannya adalah karena Menuju Lebaran Glowing 2022. di momen lebaran tahun ini, saya *uhuk* mau jalan sama si kakak. jadi, intinya saya lagi pengen eksperimen aja mumpung ada momentum HAHAHAHAHA.
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meskipun beberapa tutorial menggunakan rangkaian skincare ini untuk pagi dan malam hari, saya hanya memakai produk ini di malam hari. karena berdasarkan pengalaman saya, butuh waktu yang cukup untuk memberi jeda antar produk agar mereka meresap maksimal di wajah saya.
Oke, Kita bahas dulu Scarlett Essence Toner (Acne Series) ya...
pengalaman saya pakai essence selama ini nggak ada yang menyenangkan. saya pernah mahal - mahal beli essence centella asiatica organik yang ternyata efeknya di wajah saya nggak ada bedanya sama hydrating toner (sedih banget ini asli, berasa rugi bandar gitu). pernah juga pake mugwort essence yang endingnya breakout di wajah saya (sakit hati banget ya ampun). pernah juga pake essence sakura murni plus sleeping essence nya sekalian dari bahan yang sama dan nggak ada efeknya di wajah saya sama sekali padahal sudah saya pakai cukup lama (hiks).
jadi, untuk essence kali ini saya cukup stoic ya. nggak mau berharap apa - apa selain tentang bagaimana produk ini bisa berfungsi baik dalam menyiapkan kulit wajah saya ke step serum.
hal yang paling saya suka dari essence toner Scarlett ini adalah warna produk dan tutup botol beningnya. visual ini memberi sugesti kepada pikiran saya bahwa produk ini menjanjikan kesegaran dan glowing maksimal. ditambah dengan bagian dasar botol yang menampilkan elemen padat berbentuk bulat berupa Ginkgo Extract yang membuat saya teringat dengan elemen scrub.
secara konsentrasi, essence toner ini memiliki kekentalan di atas toner namun masih di bawah serum. secara tekstur, produk ini warnanya nggak bening banget. serta ada bulir putih yang saya asumsikan serpihan dari Ginkgo Extract. sebuah pengalaman baru memakai produk essence toner.
beberapa detik setelah essence toner ini diaplikasikan (saya skip pakai toner karena menurut saya toner nya udah include di produk ini), wajah saya terasa dingin yang saya duga berasal dari efek Vitamin C dan mugwort hydrosol. karena sejauh yang saya pahami, kedua bahan ini menawarkan sensasi cooling dalam tujuannya untuk menurunkan suhu wajah saya.
setelah efek dingin selesai, bahan aktifnya mulai bekerja masuk secara cukup gentle ke kulit. terlebih, bahan aktifnya bersifat asam (tea tree water, succinic acid, phyto squalene). bahan - bahan ini memberikan sensasi yang cukup berbeda di kulit. kalau saja tidak ada efek dingin di awal, rasanya akan panas dan cekit cekit persis seperti ketika saya mengaplikasikan produk chemical exfoliator dalam konsentrasi tinggi.
Lanjut, Scarlett Glowtening Serum...
ini adalah produk yang saya paling penasaran dengan experience nya. karena sejauh yang saya tau, glowtening merupakan singkatan dari glowing + brightening. kebayang dong gimana ekspektasi saya terhadap sebotol serum sebanyak 15 ml ini. menurut saya, tulang punggung Lebaran Glowing 2022 banyak bertumpu di produk ini. jadi, amit - amit mampus kan ya kalau saya fail di sini.
ini adalah serum pertama yang saya temui tidak berwarna bening. warnanya putih dengan tekstur thick dan rich baik ketika diteteskan ke tangan saya maupun ketika diaplikasikan ke wajah saya.
pertama kali dipakai, efek cekit cekit namun dingin seperti yang rasakan ketika memakai essence terasa lagi di pemakaian glowtening serum nya. namun, kali ini dengan intensitas yang lebih kuat. saya benar - benar merasakan tranexamide acid bekerja dengan sempurna dalam serum ini. dominasinya mengalahkan bahan - bahan lain yang dimaksudkan untuk membuat kulit saya lebih kalem : calendula oil, olive oil, alantoin, dan licorice extract.
saya pakai serum ini duluan bersama essence toner untuk mendapatkan penilaian objektif tentang bagaimana serum ini bekerja di wajah saya (dengan skip acne serum). hasilnya, kulit saya nggak kuat karena kandungan di dalam essence dan serum sama-sama kuat. sehingga saya sempat menghentikan pemakaian selama sehari. saran saya, jangan meniru saya. pakailah acne/brightening serum di antara essence toner dan glowtening serum ya.
setelah pakai serum, jangan lupa kunci dengan moisturizer untuk membuat rangkaian skincare mu sealed secara sempurna. kalau saya, karena night cream saya dari Scarlett masih ada, maka saya pakai itu saja untuk moisturizer.
Karena Saya Pernah Bahas Scarlett Acne Serum, Kali Ini Kita Fokus Ke Bagaimana Kombinasinya dengan Glowtening Serum
pertama, saya realistis. tidak semua janji di produk hasilnya akan muncul semua di wajah saya. tidak terkecuali produk ini.
namun setidaknya ada dua hal yang bisa saya highlight dari kombinasi dua serum ini : pori - pori saya mengecil, wajah saya bersih tanpa jerawat (padahal saya menstruasi di 18 - 26 Ramadhan), kulit saya tenang dan terhidrasi maksimal.
hidrasi maksimal inilah yang membawa wajah saya jadi glass skin.
dari kombinasi dan komposisi Scarlett series kali ini saya belajar satu hal lagi dari per-skincare-an duniawi : yang membuat wajah glowing bukanlah ingredients yang bertujuan untuk mencerahkah, namun glowing berasal dari ingredients yang bertujuan menghidrasi.
ternyata, glowing adalah cerminan seberapa sehat kulit wajah saya. yang mana ini butuh proses setidaknya selama satu minggu. saya bukan tipikal penganut glowing sekejab dengan menumpuk skin care premium di pagi hari-hari penting. saya lebih percaya ada proses yang melatarbelakangi wajah natural hasil adalah kerja keras rangkaian skincare malam hari.
jadi, kalau kamu mau glowing di lebaran yang tinggal menghitung hari ini, saya rasa kamu harus mengakselerasi pemakaian skincare yang tadinya hanya malam hari menjadi pagi dan malam hari. saya berdoa di hari lebaran wajah kamu akan glowing secerah kemurnian hati hari raya idul fitri.
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1433 Hijriah. terima kasih sudah bersedia membaca tulisan ini sampai akhir. semoga kulit kita selalu sehat, glowing, dan menyejukkan mata yang memandang.
Bontang, 28 April 2022
Riffat Akhsan, - yang sudah ambil cuti untuk bikin nastar dan cheese stick
14 April
On my last day in Balikpapan (in my previous office), I ask to my staff to take this picture. a picture who speaks loudly about my future plan right after my resignation.
Since beginning of my career in State-Owned Enterprise, my vision is clear : I build a strong portfolio, be critical engineer, then find sexy problem who will be my story to make a personal statement and motivation letter, then find two strong key players to write a recommendation for me.
After all the requirement process is done, I take an IELTS test. next is to apply for University admission and scholarship. the plan is perfect, so that is time to resign.
But you know what ? that's perfectly planned is set up due to covering up my wounded soul. you know my past, I experienced moving from Surabaya to Samarinda while my undergraduate degree is not completed yet. I continue my degree in Samarinda, at the university when toxic and bullying culture still alive, spreading across all the university (including the faculty). that time is really struggling and full of tears. until finally I graduate as the highest GPA among my peers, eventough it is very late. ideally, it just need 2 years to accomplish that degree, but because the toxic culture, I've done it in 3 years.
the total amount of time of my study is almost 7 years. you can count it from 2013 till 2019. not an ideal time for person who pursue a scholarship. but God is good, in 2018 I got accepted in State-Owned Enterprise in the construction sector. and the rest is history.
Then in August 2020 Everything Begin....
I know that my greatest weakness at that time is English. because the circumstance and ecosystem where I study is not a good place for upscaling my English skill. therefore, my choice is very tight : I must find a scholarship who did need IELTS in the beginning process. then, that scholarship must count heavely on my working experience rather than my college background. lastly, I set my standard reliable. I must apply in the university that can see my value. not the university that has "Top School Brand" because I am not their league.
then I found New Zealand Scholarship : they will pay my IELTS test once I pass the selection process. this is perfect ! so I just need to find the suitable university for me with term exclude NZ best university. I got It : Massey University, Construction Law. the place that not intimidates me.
destiny brings me to the only master student from Indonesia in Massey : Widi Auliagisni. Widi is my very first person outside my family that believes in me even though I think I'm not good enough. she regularly spent her busy time to brainstrorm with me. convince me to apply and believe that I can make my dream into reality.
I also met with Ibu Nurul Kasyifita, Banjarnese from Samarinda who willing to proofreading my Indonesian essay (because my English is that bad) and gives me delightful input that progressing my essay a lot. at the end of the year, I met Annisa Hasanah who have a similar working background with me (transportation project). Annisa widens up my perspective about how to plan my research. moreover, Widi recommends me to the professor who be the reason for my decision to Massey. I got the personal number of the professor and he, (the professor) invited me to come in one of his zoom lecture.
in Januari 2021, the New Zealand Scholarship awardee held mentoring program for people who plan to apply that scholarship. they did selection process and I passed as one of 50 mentees who got that chance from around 200 applicants.
the mentoring concept is like I have buddy program. the person who guides me in my essay and the admission process. the program is supposed to prepare mentee to apply in New Zealand Scholarship for the 2021 period. (turns out, unfortunately the scholarship did not open due to the COVID-19 outbreak)
Surprisingly, destiny matched me with Annisa again. that 2 months mentoring process enlights me that English is a very strong foundation. I must mastery the way of thinking in English in order to make a compelling and clear essay. my problem is a language barrier, I have a tremendous idea and how to making it into reality, but the problem is I have a constraint to deliver it into English.
with my UMR salary and living cost in Balikpapan that take half of it, pay for an IELTS class is not my choice. nevertheless, my only choice is to dicipline studying IELTS through free learning resource such as Futurelearn and Youtube. it did greatly on my passive skills (listening and reading) but have no progression in my active part (speaking and writing). but it was my only way. I can ask for more.
In August 2021, through 2 hours zoom interview, Pak Jony Eko Yulianto gives me IELTS private scholarships. He told me that one of her students just came back from her master degree in the University of Bristol funded by LPDP and decide to be an IELTS coach as her next endeavor as one of her giveback in Indonesia. Betari wants to helps applicant who struggling with IELTS to pass the test and pursue their dream. and Pak Joni decides to give me scholarship is the way he support my dream and Betari's dream as well.
the writing modul has been done in October, so I decide to apply to the Auckland University of Technology for conditional offers. I completed all the requirements and convinced myself that I deserved it. then a few days later I brace myself to apply to Massey University for Construction Project Management. I changed my course after long discussion with Widi (Widi is taking Construction Project Management also) and some deliberation because I see implementing Construction Project Management is way suitable after study rather than Construction Law because mostly in Indonesia still use Netherland and Indonesian Law in the purpose of construction contract.
The First Letter Come From AUT, Then Few Days Letter Massey
It was the best twilight in my life. when I was alone in my flat, this email came. I got frozen in my bed. I lost my words. seconds later, I cry sobbingly. I got accepted academically in my dream campus. it's feel surreal, but it's real.
at that time my IELTS private class was over and I am supposed to take IELTS exam and apply for scholarships. I must set up another plan if New Zealand Scholarship doesn't open again in 2022. so I let myself to see opportunity in LPDP scholarship.
in January 2022, my official IELTS score is out and I am eligible for LPDP scholarship !
15 March 2022, World's Rank Number 9 For Civil Engineering Offers Me a Place : The University of Canterbury
Massey University is not listed in LPDP anymore. so my only choice in New Zealand is Waikato, Otago, and Canterbury.
my feeling is true. New Zealand did not open their border (until now) so the scholarship also. I convince myself that degree of M.CivilEng is quite cute after my last name. but later on I know that in order to secure my place at the University of Canterbury I must pay admission fee around 500 NZD in the beginning. (this payment must be done by my own, although the scholarship will reimburse it later if I pass the selection process)
the situation when New Zealand still closed their border sticking up my way. I know that New Zealand awardee 2020 period still can't enter the nation. how can I ? I can imagine how long the queue will be. naturally, my intuition guides me to choose another country because the IELTS certificate already on my hand. so, I choose to go to the United Kingdom.
The Best Always Came Late, University of Birmingham Offers Me a Place on April 2022
Birmingham is the highest rank of the University that offers me a place. based on QS World University Rankings 2022 this university placed 90th.
the application process is quite different, yet thrilling compared to universities in New Zealand. in Birmie, I must write my study journey from high school to college graduation. this process is really makes me skeptical : are they willing to offer a place in person who graduate from high school in 2012 but just completed her undergraduate degree in 2019 ?
at this point, every bad judgment came into my mind. thanks to my traumas who already shapes me to believe that I am absolutely like the frame that my bulli-ers addressing to me.
but that second night of Ramadhan might be my turn back point. it was 10:33 PM Bontang time, when I just finished my Taraweeh pray and prepare to go to sleep. the email came, but my sleepy mind doesn't process it well. so, I think it just my hallucination LOL.
on the next day, I realize that offer is real. after morning pray, I read the email carefully, I look up the sender and read every words carefully.
WOW, THIS IS REAL. I GOT ACCEPTED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF BIRMINGHAM !
but unfortunately, due to internal problem caused by one employee in my family business, I must refuse the offers, drop down my imagination, suspend my study plan and back to Bontang in order to help my family business back to stable. after this messiness clear, I try to reset and rebuild my next endeavor.
This Dream is Still Alive
I will take MBA (fully online) in the US.
this is really plot twist, at this point I am realizing that I can contribute more if I am a Master in Business Administration rather than Master in Civil Engineering. having an MBA degree allows me to contribute to the business comprehensively across the group. furthermore, I found myself quite exciting every time I attend to my class at the Wharton School (in Coursera).
the pandemic gives me the comparison and spare more time to rethinking about my further study. I can't stop myself comparing 2 years online MBA tuition fee at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign is just half compared to 1 years M.CivilEng in the University of Canterbury (that will probably online because of the border is still closed)
God is Good, His Plan Is Never Wrong
I believe, at the end of the day, the silver lining will come after heavy stormy clouds in my life. I still nourish my dream, to pursue master degree overseas (with or without scholarship). I am sure everybody has their own destiny. so me too. I will face my victory later.
The Message is : I Learn To Don't Misjudge Myself
when I am writing this post, I can count how much blessed that God's gives me abudantly. but one thing for sure : I let my trauma far behind me. I am worthy. and God will always with me.
thank you for everyone who guide and beside me until this point. maybe for now reality doesn't like what I supposed to be, but I promise your kindness will stay forever in my heart.
Bontang, 14 April 2022 / 12 Ramadhan 1443 H
Faizah Riffat Ma'rifah
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