12 December
sumber gambar : shopee
setelah sekitar dua tahunan pakai (Shiseido) Senka Perfect Whip Facial Foam yang warna biru, saya bosan dan kepengen cobain sabun muka baru. nah, pencarian sabun muka ini dimulai dari Klinsen Facial Foam Oil Control Brightening.
waktu pertama kali nemu produk ini di Farmer's Market, bukan diskon nya yang membuat saya tertarik. tapi lisensi Klinsen nya. waktu lihat pertama langsung mikir ini lisensi dari eropa. entah kenapa saya langsung mikir ke La Roche Posay. mungkin karena bawa bawa benua eropa ya ? hmmm.
lebih jauh kepo ternyata produk ini diproduksi oleh Coscolab Sdn Bhd, Selangor - Malaysia dan diimpor oleh PT Inti Inter Pasifik (Uni Indo Utama) dan termasuk ke dalam personal care. jadi nggak spesifik skin care aja.
yang ditekankan dari produk ini adalah sudah halal (cie), kemudian alcohol free dan paraben free.
dari kemasan warna hijaunya bikin seger mata. kalau dari bentuk botol rasanya lebih tinggi dan langsing dari Senka juga. ukurannya 100 ml. waktu dibuka, aroma mint nya kecium banget. cukup impresif. teksturnya juga lebih rich alih - alih foam.
waktu dipake, rasanya dingin di muka dengan wangi mint yang segar. kerasa clean dan gentle. kayak ada sugesti kalau sabun muka ini mengerjakan tugasnya sebagai part of cleansing dengan baik. setelah dibilas, ada efek keset (kayak kalau habis cuci piring) tapi kulit nggak kerasa kering atau ketarik. bagi beberapa orang efek ini cukup unexpected, apalagi yang tipikal sabun muka nya tipe - tipe Cetaphil atau Senka. saya juga cukup kaget dengan efek "keset" ini, mengingatkan saya dengan efek pakai sabun muka Garnier jaman SMA dulu. tapi bagi saya, it's part of exeperience dari proses cari - cari sabun muka baru.
so, repurchase ? yes kalau diskonan di Farmer's Market menggiurkan. karena saya nggak ada isu berarti sama produk ini. tapi di luar urusan diskon, saya masih belum mau setia sama satu produk facial wash. sooo, masih mau cari - cari kesetiaan nih hahaha.
segitu dulu pendapat saya tentang sabun muka ini. terima kasih sudah membaca !
Balikpapan, 12 Desember 2020
Riffat Akhsan -- yang batal ke Toraja akhir tahun ini.
09 December
bagaimana pandemi untuk sektor konstruksi ?
kamu nggak takut Corona ?
dua pertanyaan di atas bukan sekali menghampiri saya. di awal saya tidak benar - benar tau seperti apa penyakit ini. yang saya pahami (dan patuhi) adalah selalu jaga imunitas tubuh dan pakai masker karena basicly ini adalah kind of viruses seperti (mungkin) flu atau SARS.
ditugaskan ke Balikpapan, membuat saya dekat dengan Paman (adik abah) yang kebetulan pejabat di satker kesehatan pelabuhan. begitu pula dengan kakak sepupu yang bekerja di kantor yang sama dan istrinya yang bekerja di Puskesmas
dari Paman dan kakak, saya mulai melihat seperti apa dampak dari virus ini. saya tidak takut mati. iman saya meyakini bahwa umur itu perkara tuhan. namun tekanan mental nya lah yang membuat jiwa saya gentar.
sektor saya secara umum serta tugas dan tanggungjawab saya secara khusus memang tidak memungkinkan saya untuk Work From Home. kalau mau heroik, simpelnya bisa dikatakan "kalau kami yang bekerja di sektor infrastruktur jalan raya juga WFH, lantas bagaimana masyarakat di daerah perbatasan bisa cepat mendapat pertolongan ke RSUD terdekat ?
saya sempat WFH selama dua bulan dan menjalani WFH secara bergiliran selama New Normal. semakin mendekati akhir tahun, saya masuk kantor secara penuh dengan protokol kesehatan ketat.
jika ditanya mengapa. jawaban personal saya, fasilitas kantor saya tidak bisa saya duplikasi di kamar kost. ada banyak sekali dokumen yang tertahan selama WFH dan tidak bisa diserahkan kepada orang lain meski kelihatannya "hanya" ngeprint. kemudian tentang piring nasi, sarapan dan makan siang saya masih ditanggung kantor dan ada banyak sekali koordinasi dengan pihak terkait yang tidak bisa di - online - kan. seperti pengesahan dokumen proyek yang membutuhkan tinjauan dan validasi lebih dari satu orang pimpinan.
ya begitulah. rasanya berangkat kantor kayak berangkat perang. bukan takut mati. tapi kalau saya positif, saya dikirim ke Asrama Haji Manggar harus isolasi mandiri. sendirian. nggak ada Wifi. kuota Kartu Halo saya langsung angkat bendera putih. perasaan akan "dikurung" sendiri tanpa wifi ini yang lebih menekan.
Di awal November, separuh penghuni kantor rekanan kerja saya positif. mereka semua isolasi mandiri di Asrama Haji. kantor saya langsung waspada dan melakukan tracing. saya adalah salah satu yang sering rapat kesana.
saya jadi semakin tertekan takut jangan - jangan saya tertular tapi tidak merasa.
beruntung overthinking ini diakhiri dengan hasil rapid test non reaktif.
meski begitu, kewaspadaan untuk lebih menerapkan protokol kesehatan secara lebih ketat pasti ada lah ya. sebagai bagian dari sikap defensif saya, saya mulai mengevaluasi apa saja protokol kesehatan saya yang masih perlu diperketat lagi.
pakai masker medis all the time, sudah. jaga karak aman, tentu saja. mengurangi ke tempat - tempat yang nggak perlu dan pusat keramaian, sudah. minum vitamin, sudah. pakai hand sanitizer, ngggggg.
nah, saya merasa saya kurang disiplin pakai hand sanitizer karena tersugesti "bersih" berkat wudhu. selain itu karena hand sanitizer kantor bau alkoholnya menyengat dan mengingatkan saya dengan bau rumah sakit. bukan langkah yang bagus untuk mereka yang berusaha tetap waras di situasi tidak waras seperti pandemi ini.
kemudian salah satu rekanan saya, mas - mas Satker di Kementerian PUPR, ngasih saya hand sanitizer ini. wow harum banget, nih. pikir saya. kebetulan memang selama ini saya jaga - jaga punya hand sanitizer dalam wujud parfum gel merk eskulin yang saya tidak tau berapa persen kandungan alkoholnya.
wah si Secret Clean Antiseptic Hand Sanitizer ini meruntuhkan kemalasan saya pakai Hand Sanitizer karena wangi nya yang seharum parfum. saya langsung beli dong, gapapa deh nggak direimburse kantor yang penting saya happy pakai nya.
usut punya usut ternyata produk Hand Sanitizer milik Secret Clean ini viral ya. haha baru tau saya pas kepo kepo sama Product Knowledge nya. ternyata dia ini masih satu produksi sama Herborist. wow. produk lokal ya, saya pikir ini dari luar.
selain itu aromatik Aloe Vera nya si Hand Sanitizer ini juga ngasih dukungan mental kalau saya masih tidak kehilangan kemampuan untuk indra penciuman. pandemi ini bener - bener bikin kita bersyukur kepada hal - hal sesederhana bisa mencium aroma ya.
jadi, dengan kandungan alkoholnya yang mencapai 70% beneran mengalihkan saya dari repurchase Eskulin (Parfum Gel yang saya fungsikan sebagai Hand Sanitizer) karena aproved by Kemenkes dan pastinya alkohol segitu banyak diyakini bisa lah ya membunuh bakteri dan kuman 😃😃😃
punya saya adalah yang versi spray ukuran 100 ml. so far saya sudah repurchase juga. harumnya segar dan seperti parfum. kayak Scent Parfume gitu. nggak eneg dan nggak bikin pusing. harganya juga murah. cepet menyerap di tangan dan nggak lengket. aku cinta 💕💕💕
jadi, buat kamu yang lagi cari Hand Sanitizer yang "nggak umum" dan worth to buy ada baiknya mempertimbangkan Secret Clean Antiseptic Hand Sanitizer ini. denger - denger dia ini masuk dalam list Shopeemart gitu jadi ada keuntungan gratis ongkir di luar periode gratis ongkir. mungkin bisa coba dilihat aja, tapi saya nggak tau info pastinya karena saya beli produk ini di istrinya temen kantor.
so, stay safe and stay healthty semuanya.
karena di masa pandemi ini kesehatan dan kestabilan finansial adalah yang utama.
jangan lupa bahagia !
Balikpapan, 9 Desember 2020
Riffat Akhsan -- yang masih berjuang dengan pilek 😪😪😪
08 December
sebelumnya, tahukah kamu kalau Hada Labo adalah produk Jepang alih - alih Korea ? kalau kamu tahu, selamat. setidaknya kamu lebih beruntung dari saya. selama ini saya amat sangat kecele dengan mengira Hada Labo asli Korea. fufufu. 😌😌😌
oke, persepsi kita sudah sama ya. kalau begitu, mari berbicara tentang petualangan saya mencari kitab suci toner. khususnya hydrating toner.
dalam kancah dunia perskin care an, saya ini termasuk telat. baru mengenal 10 step skin care sekitar setahun lalu. telat banget ya. sebelumnya skin care saya selalu diresepkan dokter selama bertahun - tahun sejak saya lulus SMA. ya gapapa lah ya telat urusan skin care. nggak dihakimi agama dan negara juga.
Perkenalan dan Perjalanan Menemukan Toner
bagi saya dari sepuluh step skin care, toner adalah salah satu produk yang susah banget nemu yang cocok.
petualangan saya urusan toner ini dimulai dari saya yang nggak ngerti bedanya exfoliating toner dan hydrating toner. pernah saya pakai hanya exfoliating toner aja, pernah hydrating toner aja, pernah dua - dua nya, pernah pula essence saya masukkan ke slot hydrating toner (yang kemudian rekening saya menangys karena jajan gadget saya sedikit terganggu karena harga toner yang overbudget ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜)
pertama kali saya pakai toner itu adalah cuka apel. kebayang kan ceu bau - bau semriwing mirip sampah basi si cuka apel ditemplokin ke muka saya. trus lama - lama saya nggak tahan dong. mungkin bagi kamu yang kuat skin care dengan bahan super alami this is not a big problem ya. tapi saya yang lebih memilih mencium wangi aspal yang baru dihampar dibanding mencium wangi putih telur mentah, jelas nggak tahan sama si cuka apel ini.
merk toner pertama yang saya beli waktu itu Laneige, trus emosi sama botolnya yang menurut saya sangat fragile. kemudian saya pindah ke Some by Mi yang varian Tea Tree.
makin saya pakai skin care, makin saya mementingkan aksesibilitas kemudahan untuk beli skin care ini. saya menyadari bahwa bersikap ekslusif dengan beli skin care merk rare apalagi yang nggak punya official store dan beli nya harus online beneran bikin hidup saya makin susah aja.
ngerti kan perasaan lagi ngawas proyek Jalan Nasional nun jauh di perbatasan sana, pas nyampe kost baru tau kalau paket skin care dibalikin ke alamat asal karena nggak ada penerima. atau nyampe kost patah hati serum shiseido dua juta setengah pecah karena kurirnya asal taro, mungkin beliau kesel kali ya. saya ditelpon nggak bisa, sementara mungkin paket yang harus diantar masih banyak ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
di titik itu saya paham bahwa saya lebih butuh hydrating toner dibandingkan exfoliating toner. pemakaian exfoliating toner saya hentikan karena saya merasa cukup dengan physical exfoliating scrub. pilihan untuk memakai exfoliating toner berlayer dengan hydrating toner juga tidak saya ambil karena otak insinyur ini mikir Exfoliating + Hydrating = Netral = Nggak Ngefek = Buang Duit. (tapi trus saya salah, ternyata fungsi mereka tidak tumpang tindih)
pilihan untuk pemakaian selang seling antara Exfoliating dan Hydrating Toner juga saya rasa kurang tepat untuk saya karena saya merasa kebutuhan hidrasi kulit saya tinggi sekali. akhirnya semenjak sadar akan hal tersebut saya pakai Hydrating Toner merk lokal N Pure seri Centella Asiatica. saya repurchase dan habis berbotol botol untuk produk ini. bukan karena saya cocok, tapi karena fungsinya tepat dan mudah didapatkan waktu saya masih di Samarinda.
kemudian saya pakai Secret Key varian Tea Tree. Brand ini setau saya Dupe nya SK II. tapi bukan itu saudara - saudara yang bikin saya beli sebotol toner seratus ribu ukuran 248 ml ini. alasan utamanya karena barang ini ada di Farmer's Market !
waktu saya beli ini, posisi saya sudah ditugaskan di Balikpapan. cukup mudah rasanya belanja produk ini di Farmer's Market Balikpapan, begitu pikir saya yang membeli produk ini di Farmer's Market Samarinda. turns out ternyata produk skin care di Farmer's Market Samarinda jauh lebih lengkap daripada di Balikpapan. well, dan toner ini nggak saya temukan di Farmer's Market Balikpapan.
fyi, Farmer's Market di Samarinda dan Balikpapan masing - masing hanya ada satu gerai. beda kayak Surabaya yang ada di beberapa titik. sempat kecewa sih karena nggak bisa repurchase Toner ini. tapi nggak yang kecewa banget karena saya sadar saya butuh hydrating toner yang lebih menghidrasi lagi.
tapi karena Toner ini tempat jajan skin care saya jadi pindah ke Farmer's Market. karena saya merasa lebih nyaman belanja di sini dibanding dua gerai skin care yang sudah sangat terkenal. simpelnya karena saya bisa menemukan produk yang sama di sini. overall dari jaman di Surabaya dulu saya memang sudah keep in believe sama semua produk Ranch Market / Farmer's Market. karena mereka ini kurasi barang - barangnya oke oke banget.
please jadikan aku Duta Farmer's Market.
oke, oke balik ke urusan toner.
saya suka banget belanja skin care di Farmer's Market karena lorong Skin Care nya sepi, lebar, dan lengang (nggak kayak toko sebelah yang biasanya kalau kita agak lama liat - liat langsung disamperin trus ditanya tanya atau ditawarin promo ini itu).
saya suka berlama - lama di rak skin care. memindai satu - satu product yang saya sudah tau, saya sudah lama tau tapi belum pernah liat, atau produk yang malah saya belum pernah liat sama sekali. baca - baca product knowledge di kemasan Skin Care, belajar ingredients penyusun sebuah produk, sambil menimbang - nimbang beli apa nggak, trus kalau misalnya agak - agak tertarik langsung seacrh review nya di Female Daily dan ketika banyak yang review bagus seringkali berakhir khilaf masukin ke keranjang apalagi liat tulisan diskon dan promo but 1 get 1 (kayak kejadian saya borong sabun muka merk Klinsen tepat ketika saya bosen sama Senka saya. si Klinsen ngasih bundling promo yang bikin otak matematika saya memvalidasi satu buah sabun muka mereka harganya nggak sampai dua puluh ribu).
tolonglah, saya ini kan manusia biasa. the perks of excitement is real. ku bahagya.
Hada Labo Gokujyun Ultimate Moisturizer Light Lotion as My Hydrating Toner
sesuai judul blog ini Glance of Destiny. adaaa aja, harapan yang saya tulis di blog ini berbuah takdir di kemudian hari. seperti ketika menulis tulisan ini di bulan mei (masih di tahun ini, 2020). saya menulis kalau saya lagi minat nyobain Hada Labo yang Gokujyun Premium Toner untuk mengisi slot Hydrating Toner.
entah kenapa, hati saya pivot untuk memilih toner ini alih - alih mengambil Skinlife Acne Care Toner. padahal aslinya mau beli yang itu karena penasaran. posisi Skinlife tuh di rak sebelah atas, terang benderang dan display nya ciamik. ada diskon pula. si Hada Labo malah di bawah, gelap, udah sisa dikit, nggak ada diskon.
tapi yah, namanya juga takdirnya sama Hada Labo. mungkin di Arasy malaikat udah bikin DIPA Anggaran kali ya sejak saya nulis condong hati mau coba toner Hada Labo tujuh bulan lalu. jadinya saya langsung khilaf dong, beli dua botol sekaligus dengan risiko kalau nggak cocok rugi bandar luar biasa.
*silahkan googling sendiri apa itu DIPA Anggaran 😚😚😚😚
baik, mari kita lanjut bahas si Bintang Utama yang menjadi alasan saya nulis postingan ini namun sayangnya kemunculannya dihalangi terus oleh prolog yang kepanjangan.
disclaimer : tipe kulit saya normal to oily. tapi saya takut banget jerawatan. jadi seringkali saya mensugesti diri saya memiliki tipe kulit oily to acne prone. kesan atas sebuah produk yang saya buat bukanlah review pro tentang bagus tidaknya sebuah produk. ini adalah pandangan personal saya atas sebuah produk skin care. yang menurut saya cocok di saya dan saya suka.
kesan pertama kali pake : wow, lebih dingin dari air wudhu. muka saya yang terpapar debu debu proyek dan harapan harapan palsu dari tenaga ahli ini langsung berasa dikasih minum.
segar.
untuk tugas hidrasi, toner ini melakukan tugasnya dengan sangat baik. sejauh ini, ini yang paling terasa ngasih "minum" kulit saya dengan proper. apalagi kalau habis itu pakai Mediheal Hydro Gel Aloe Vera 92% sambil nyalain AC, wah kepala saya langsung dingin. karena jujur aja, skin care an salah satu bentuk self reward sekaligus self therapy saya ke diri sendiri. biar muka dan kepala saya dingin, setelah dipakai kerja otak seharian.
tapi tolong turunkan ekspektasi, efek dingin yang saya maksud disini hanya sampai untuk bikin rileks. kalau untuk bikin ngantuk, sleeping mask Some By Mi Yuja Niacin masih belum ada lawan.
balik ke Toner ini ya, saya pikir yaudahlah ya dia beneran the best so far for my hydrating toner. sampai beberapa hari lalu, saya ngaca pas mau wudhu shalat dzuhur.......
lho - lho, kok glowing ?
whoaaa. ternyata selama ini saya hanya fokus ke tugas hidrasi nya aja. saya lupa kalau toner ini juga bikin glowing. sampai kaget sendiri.
aku kaget, tapi senang 😇😇😇
dari segi tekstur, dia nih "air banget" jadinya saya pakai ini menggunakan kapas premium (yang kalau di Farmer's Market harganya 16.500 isi 175 pcs). kapas ini beda sama kapas 6.500 an yang saya pakai double cleansing. ukurannya lebih tipis dan lebih lambat dalam menyerap skin care sehingga penggunaan skin care bisa lebih hemat.
sebuah bentuk penghematan mbak - mbak proyek yang mau ke Toraja akhir tahun ini.
kemasannya kecil, bentuk tutupnya flip top (kek tutup botol minyak kayu putih). untuk urusan bentuk botol ini ngasih ketenangan di hati saya. untuk aroma, menurut saya nggak ada wanginya sama sekali. bagi saya ini memang Toner yang saya mau. bagi yang lain bisa jadi ini jadi bahan pertimbangan.
after all, saya cinta banget sama produk ini dan brand Hada Labo secara keseluruhan. saya baru tau kalau produk Hada Labo yang masuk slot Toner *kode* nya adalah Lotion, sementara produk Hada Labo yang masuk slot Moisturizer *kode* nya adalah Milk.
kedepan saya mau cobain facial wash seri Tamagohada dan Moisturizer Milk nya.
ada amin ?
Balikpapan, 8 Desember 2020
Riffat Akhsan -- yang baru sadar besok libur.
06 December
I know this post is a little bit late from official father's day on 12 of November. But this post is not about joining the competition. This is just an effort from ordinary woman who being a daughter, a soon to be mother, an a soon to be daughter-in-law.
To My Father, King of My Heart.
Dear Abah,
in my 27th age, first of all i would say thank you for building us a business empire. furthermore you allowed me to work in stated-owned company in order to reach my dream. you give me access to studying and working in the best construction consulting company in this republic. you allow me too if someday i decide to follow my HERB wherever his institution assign him.
you absulotely understanding that this global era bring through the possibility that I can always be your highway engineer and master in consructuction law in term of enhancing your empire. sometimes me and my siblings called you "denial boomer" because your boss-aura and your ambition come beyond our logic and expectation. but we all agreed that you unquestionably genius to always capturing and following the trend of the business.
most of the people say that their mom has a magical words. the condition where the context of their mother's talked last time before becoming a reality. but in my family, my dad's statement is more magical than my mom. i'm not saying my mom is lesser magical in term of saying something in the past and becoming reality in present time. but they have a very different realization.
let me tell you more.
as far as i remember, there 's two kind of situation where i recognized my father's "berkah" in my life :
first, when i took a responsibility at my family's mining company, dad suggest me to work in the company where i am working on now. he said that my skill will improve rapidly in this company. because i learn with the titan. i will involve in vital infrastructure project such as Toll Road Development Project and other prestigious project for establishment Indonesia's New Capital Region. this is importance for our business vision in the future. he want me to cut down my boss-daughter ego and willing to work in other people outside my inner circle.
at that time i certainly refused his suggestion because i'm already feeling comfortable with the position. i'm enjoying managing the labour and financing the cashflow. my arrogant mind said that i'm enough with the skill-improving-things all this time so this is my turn to implement my talent.
a year later, it really happen.
dad's collague who a head of region in my company now asking dad spesifically to help him looking for a talent to be Project Office Manager. a trusted candidate who are non newbie in this scope of work. he didn't want a freshgraduate whom still idealistic wothout understanding how excactly construction project and its titan working on. he needs someone who willing to moved in Balikpapan at the region office.
my company where i'm working now is always doing closed recruitment (especially for my region). because this corporate culture is about trusted and recommendation. so, my dad offer me this chance. because he (my dad) highly respecting this collague. their relation is happen over a long time ago and this collague didn't asked for help to random partner.
i don't know exactly why i am receiving his offer. memories told me that at that time in mining company, i felt that my capabilities is useless. i thought i was thrown off from construction project sector. oh yeah at that point i realized that my passion is about construction project. especially in highway sector.
so I accept the offer. i do the formal selection process and officially selected as prefered candidate. i do the probation process, experienced the sweetness and bitter one, i do witness the ups and down, and planned to resign after all this period of contract.
again, my father says that it's okay to resign. at least i have been done my best. i learned a lot and already know how to implement my experience in family business. he make sure i know all the consequence about my resignation. and he gives me deliberation time to re-thinking about my decision.
right 3 months before my due date, i'm on a very interesting situation at one of the project. this situation suddenly triggered me and brings me back to my Senior High School dream : studying overseas with scholarships.
qadarullah the dream brings me to the incredible person such as Mbak Widi who literally already graduate from my targeted school who also continous her PhD at the same place. i'm so blessed Mbak Widi gives me diamond hint about the school which is can't be search on google. it will be the a very significant factor to my essay.
i also met Ibu Nurul, who a very humble to voluntarily be my essay proofreader. she also a PhD candidate but in another school other than my targeted school. she married with kiwi guy and becoming permanent resident in that country.
no matter how far my odyssey. dad, I will always be your little princess.
To (soon to be) Father of My (future) children
Hi HERB, Love of My Life.
thank you very much for being a very best father to our children. To be a good leader in our small family. To be a charismatic yet demochratic husband of your not-so-perfect wife. Thank you for trying to giving us example how to be grit over all of obstacle in front of our journey. To teaching us how to be brave facing our fear. thank you for your patience when our kids in a bad mood.
i love how the way you handled our unpredictable situation with the children. your calming attitude completed my panic mode. i do remember the way you stare at me, your eyes communicates well to me eventough your mouth is silent. i got your point, what i'm gonna do during that frustating our children's drama. at the end of the day, together we handled that situation incredibly.
i'm very honor with your briliant attitude. you absulotely understand that parenting is about the compromise between you and me. you treat me as your life-partner. you are willing to doing what so called feminine task such as sitting our children and any other house chrores. you gives me my me time. sometimes we have a little debate, but this is our formula : communicate, compromise, get a deal. the magic of this formula always happen in our marriage.
with you, i grown up to be better day by day. you teach me about patience, grit, and loyality with process. every our pillow talk, i always learn something new. something that widen up my horizon of thinking. to be wiser, better, and stronger. together, we looking at the future optimitically. no matter what is going on at the future, we will embrace it together. always. with ridho Allah and our parents.
i wish to Allah gives you wonderful age. together we witnessed grey hair of each other. smiling to each other with very same feeling, caring and loving each other and hopes Allah will united us again in his Jannah. amiin.
Balikpapan, 6 December 2020
Faizah Riffat,--- A daughter, A daughter-in-law, A proud mom of brilliant children, and a blessed wife of loving husband.
15 November
finally, this is my first time blogging with version of blogger's new backend. Alhamdulillah, all the grateful and blessed i ask to my God. because of his mercy finally my sense of blogging rising again after a very long time i lost this sense.
actually i write regularly (weekly, honestly) in paradase.id, an online platform for mainstream media to spread local news on Bontang. one of my parent's company. i do write there to support them. because my father actually told me that company built from his worriness about the effort of me, my twin sister, and my mother building pondokjaticafe.com, an online platform that only post once in a week but has a 1500 viewers a day. a strong content platfrom with no monetation. so he build a company, hiring experienced talent to run this online local news business and we three moved our content in this platform. but legally we have no position in this company, just a writer. because when we talk about business, we jump into serious note.
i wrote regulary at two column : Gaya, a lifestyle column that talks about lifestyle content and the other one is Diary of Auckland column, a very special column where i collaborate with a very inspiring woman. Ibu Nurul Kasyfita who still on her journey to get PhD degree in education.
writing on Paradase is technically and mentally drain. because i know Paradase's viewers is so demanding. analytical statistic shows me that audience of Gaya dan Diary of Auckland mostly from two world class employee in Bontang. they are extremely smart and has a high level lifestyle because of their income. so the pressure to always provide adequate content is real. this ruin my energy and kill my sense of blogging slowly.
miracly i got this sense of blogging back is because of my dreams. i wish to get IELTS test with tremendeous score, at least for me. so i hope from now until forever i will post in this blog regularly in english so i can improving my writing skill. amiin.
oke, i think enough for prologue. so lets talk about my life now.
i moved in Balikpapan actually in June. eventough my assignment is from first of April. but my company does work from home so i can work in Bontang eventhough my assignment is officially for region office in Balikpapan. i moved to this oil city at begining of this pandemic outbreak. so everythings seems bizzare. at some point i didn't know how the outbreak is really exist. because my work and daily life exactly from home haha. my office at my home's second floor. so, i do WFH since long time a go. i am an introvert too. my happiest time is about stay on my bedroom, watch korean drama or netflix, and do a grabfood reservation.
that's actually PSBB style right ?
but in other hand i feel the pressure. i know that the condition is far from normal. there is a psychological pressure on local goverment, news on TV, social media, it sticked me realize that this is unimaginable condition.
so at the end of May, after Eid Mubarak my manager told me that i must entering Balikpapan as fast as possible. my office swish a chance in very injury time, because of that few days Balikpapan pull out the lockdown regulation so i can enter Balikpapan from Bontang.
for your information, i work for stated - owned company (BUMN) in consulting sector. we do a national infrastructure project. the pressure feels real because we are one of vital sectors that must always running on even the pandemic is exist.
at the border of Balikpapan, a police officer stopped my car and ask where i am from and why go to Balikpapan. the officer suddenly shocked when i said i'm from Bontang and want to my office at M.T Haryono road. the officer with intimidating voice integorated me. i answer that question nervously, i told them i'm one of the consultant team for Toll Road Development of Balikpapan - Samarinda Project. after hearing my excuses, suddenly they gesture changed and released my car away.
so, this is my story.
the first month i lived at non-air-conditioner flat. thanks to stupid 30% alocation salary of financial planner meanwhile i am a pole bear's daughter. i can't life without air conditioner. my fisrt month at Balikpapan is sucks. my office workload meets non AC room gives me unforgettable learning about the importance of saving my current condition above money management.
so the second month, at July i moved to my present flat. its like guesthouse room. a proper room with AC (this is dead price, you know), TV, wifi, private bathroom, and standard furniture like work table, chair, and springbed. this room did not have a shared kitchen, washing machine, and washing facility. a little bit different than my previous non AC flat. but, there is always pro and cons for every flatting journey. i must deal with it. if i want everything is available, the answer is neither i go back home or building my own property. haha.
i can't talk about my worklife because i signed Non Disclosure Agreement Contract on my office and of course it's not interesting to share. just a boring workload with exciting project. so, i give you my takeaways so far :
Meet Two Kind of Man
Photo by Corsin Taisch on Unsplash
at the end of 2019. Winar, my indigo closest friend said that in 2020 i will meet a man that gives me DEG moment. you know, butterfly in stomach and increasing heart rate feeling. shortly Winar said that i will meet my soulmate at mid to end of 2020.
and it happen.
in the mid of 2020, at work situation i met a very handsome guy. my senior at campus but we never met before. the youngest member of core team who assigned to work at ministry of public works and housing office at Balikpapan. core team in my workplace is like baker's scholar at Harvard Business School. the top of the top. i know he had a feeling on me. it shows from his gesture and attitude. and of course it just not my feeling only. the people of the office do validates the different act and the way he look at me.
but the problem is, he already married a year a go. and the most importance is : i didn't feel that DEG moment. i know office affair sometimes happen in this industry because of lack of woman engineer. but i do know this is not right at all. so i absolutely know this is not the guy that Winar means.
Photo by Sorin Gheorghita on Unsplash
at the end of October, i meet him. someone with HERB initial name. i meet him for very first time at his campus seminar. at that time he was a moderator for that event. the event was at night. i didn't feel that DEG moment actually. but, i'm impressed with the way he moderate the rundown and answer the question. i'm glued by his calming aura. he is the most genius yet handsome guy i've ever meet (yeah, he is part of Phi Beta Kappa society and student of the best campus in the world).
the next morning, after tahajud, finally i felt that DEG moment that Winar said last year. i do felt the butterfly in stomach and my heart rate increasing high everytime i remember him. HERB actually, not the core team guy.
the next day, after repetitively asking to my self with same question "what do i feel ?" i'm finally realized i want a guy to be my soulmate. to stand beside me for the rest of my life as my husband. the next day is a very first time i mention a guy's name on my pray at tahajud. i asked directly to God as his creator, to give him to me as a gift. to completed my life and soul, and to build a family with him.
before met him, i never directly sent someone Al-Fatihah. i just addressing "to my future husband" before sent my Al - Fatihah. but with him, i dare to sent him Al - Fatihah. addressing his full name and wish God gives what i want to be with him.
when i writing this post, i'm on preparation to came over him. i'm still wishing in my pray, in my tahajud, in my tafakur. i know HERB is out of my league. wishing him to be my husband its like a reaching the stars. so there's nothing to do unless rely on God's destiny.
maybe someday, this post will be my nostalgic sign. i hope at the future i saw this post with unstopable gratitudes about how powerful God on my life. i wish to saw this post at the position hugged by him in his arm, kisses by him in my forehead, and telling our kids that they are a miracle of God. telling them that their mom and dad met and loving each other is because God's disposes. God's destiny. their mom was in Balikpapan and their father was in Boston. but God very capable to united two people separated by ocean. and united it in a gratefully marriage full of pray, ridho, love, and hopes.
amiin.
Spirituality Secured
i feel completed in term of spiritually's soul. this is very long story. when i moved into Balikpapan, i'm very disappointed because i'm not capable to attending pengajian of my family's spiritual leader. the situation getting worse because the pandemic outbreak. our regular tasawuf pengajian is postponed until unpredicted timetable.
so few days a go, i found this channel. Nasarudin Umar Office who provides virtual tasawuf kajian. they provide zoominar evey monday and thrusday and the previous tasawuf kajian are provided on demand at youtube channel.
this is like oase in my sahara soul. finally i found what i'm wishing for since the first time in Balikpapan. Prof Nasarudin Umar is one of my role model outside my inner circle. he is the figured that i wish to meet someday. someone who are Ulama tasawuf but has a global perspective. this professor never went to middle east institution. surprisingly he already went to Holland, United States, Canada, and Japan. but he is Imam Besar of our nation mosque (Masjid Istiqlal) chosen by Mr. President. he also vice minister of ministry of religious of Republic of Indonesia.
his perspective on islam exactly has a same principle with the principle where i'm growing of. ahlu sunnah wal jama'ah. has a global mind but also has masjidil haram heart. islam is rahmatan lil alamin. islam is full of love and tolerance not about war and violence. islam is moderate and adaptive, not about ancient and rigid.
this channel helps my spiritually secured, other than my inner circle support system. through this channel i learn again about the meaning of God's creation. the importance of God's intervention on every aspect in our life. the meaning of comprehensiveness faith. how to pray adequately. time relativity concept on tasawuf perspective. how to analyze God's mercy. how to deep in understanding God's destiny. either is good or bad. and the most important thing is : how to keep in faith however how hard our situation.
this is one of the reason i don't hate my monday and i'm not giving up when hump day.
i learn mudra, i learn yoga, i learn chakra, i learn ayurveda, i learn law of attraction, i learn mindfullness. but they are feels not appropiate for me. i can't explain why, but for me it's just not right. finally after long journey, i got my estuary called tafakur. a moment to contemplate all the grateful things that Allah gives to me. a moment right after shalat to mention my weakness and problem, my progress and obstacle, my grace and bless.
now i know that those meditation and lifestyle is just about me and earth. exactly earth has a various energy that sparks to all of creatured who lived in it with no exception. of course we must always respect to earth so the earth will respect us and it's absulotely right. but it's contrary with my tauhid. that's why it feels right for some people but not for me.
tasawuf guides me back into jihad (physically/body faith) ijtihad (logical/intellectual faith) and mujahadah (spiritual/soul faith). and this is the answer : i must put Allah first. because everythings is Allah's power. including earth. i must rely everything to Allah through Dzikir, mahabbah to the Phopet Muhammad through Shalawat, and then unscrable everythings that happen into my life honestly in my tafakur session. that's the proper way. logic, realistic, efective.
like Holy Qur'an on Surah Ali Imran 191 : Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.
note : the sahih international translates "sky" as "heavens"
Alhamdulillah.
Supporting My Twin's Business
since we separated away, I'm in Balikpapan and My Twin Sister in Bontang. both of us redefine our ikigai and goal. i found that my passion is about : construction, education, and research (surprisingly i'm not corporate person, haha) and my twin sister's passion is about entrepreneur : media advertising, architecture, food and beverage.
a few weeks a go. my twin sister launched her first step on FnB industry. metodologi kopi. they sell the best matcha i've ever drink. a very good various of coffee. and an authentic Thailand Tea. for the eatery they sell Japanese Gyudon Bowl, Singapore Hainanese Chicken Rice, and Korean Honey Butter Chicken.
my twin sister handled the food and social media. her copywriting skill is awesome. i saw her edeavour skill to make an eye catching yet mesmerizing instagram caption. the growth of their instagram account's follower are tremendous. and the other founder is Bintang Wahyu Aji, a genius barista with glamorous taste. he handled all about beverages. and the other one is Putri. a civil servant in Bontang Goverment who has a diamond skill on marketing. they three are rock. the collaboration is wonderful. i hope Allah ridho for their business and gives them glory and prosperity.
Amiin.
A Vision Board
eventhough me and my twin sister have different goal, but we have same dreams. we want to pursue our dream to get degree overseas. I'm in New Zealand for Construction Law, my twin sister in United Stated for Public Relation. so all we do are supporting and praying for each other.
one day my twin sister ask me to make a dream board. things that i called as vision board. a medium where we visualize our dream and hope for the future. we must put this board right in front our kiblat. so after shalat and pray we can dzikir and shalawat while make afirmation through saw this board.
the making process is so interesting. turns out we can't put something that not our deepest desire on this board. the selection going automatically. i frequently collected, printed, and trimmed the picture that i think i'm dreaming of. but at the end it not included in this board. this vision board making process surprisingly redefining again what i'm really want in my life at the future. there is a lot of things that i think i will die if i never have it, obviously is not that mean into my life.
you may spotted in that vision board, i don't put anything about the famous european must visited placed like Eiffel in Paris or London Bridge. also you didn't see any other Japanese things on that board. or specific looks of homes for my future.
yeah, you are right. because those things unselected. here the reason :
first, i really feel that the most placed that i want visit in the future is snowy town with fantastic lamp at night. i'm not spesifically mention where it is. it might be in New Zealand, Nordic Country like Norwegia, or expensive tourist destination in Switzerland. the country is just option. the point is that description of place and moment. that's my dream. the other one is spesifically Singapore. yes, because everytime i went to that country i always on rush situation, so i felt like i have a debt to visiting Singapore in proper - vacation - way. and then spesifically i want to Masjidil Haram, wishing go to my targeted university in New Zealand, having black Mazda CX-5 car, Pentapolis Apartment, Hermes Herbag, Iphone, Macbook Retina Display and excactly 7 of my IELTS band score on every aspect.
second, you may spotted a spacious comfy room with sunshine, glass, and books. and then you see a bride. Harvard Kennedy School campus. the things i mentioned before is a vision that i rely on my HERB. someone behind the blue-love icon (on my vision board). the room simbolyze i just want it to my future home. the rest aspect is him. a bride means i just want that gown and all of flowery alive in my wedding, the rest item is up to him. Harvard Kennedy School is a choice, i have no problem didn't have a chance to that school. i just want take a photo with that background and pray someday my kids will go to there. or it's just a symbol i do respect my husband's almamater.
the quote is resume of my big frame when i see my future : i aspire to be a woman who wakes up and loves what she does for a living everyday, travels often, spiritually secured, and financially stable
the logo of my office is not my dream. it's just a sign that i thankful to my company who has a part in my story.
after all this things, i learn to be clear. obviously i realized not all the people's dreams are my dreams. i'm not spesifically choosing a profession. i just know my passion and hope to love what i do for living everyday. i let Allah through my husband to be my partner to discuss and analyze what's next. because i just want to be ordinary woman who prioritize my family over my ambition. i let my husband take a step first, and i'll be the makmum. we will compromize to make this things works in efective way.
this vision board will changed frequently after my dreams becoming reality one by one. there will another pictured that i put in that board. another pray. another hopes. but with the same beleived. that Allah will make it happen.
So, This Is Life Brings Me On
thank you for visiting this blog. it really praised me. if you see this part, i'm really sure that you does praying for me. actually my life is so roller coster. i'm on position that have no choice either than keep going day by day. from weekdays to weekend. from payday to another payday.
i know everything extremely want the situation got changed. but remember, God has a story. it's about time. maybe God encourage us to be gritter and stronger. just be loyal through this process. 2020 is really hard, even for me. but don't lose your hope. because if you lose your hope, you have nothing left.
Balikpapan, 15 November 2020
Faizah Riffat ---- your blogger friend.
i know everything extremely want the situation got changed. but remember, God has a story. it's about time. maybe God encourage us to be gritter and stronger. just be loyal through this process. 2020 is really hard, even for me. but don't lose your hope. because if you lose your hope, you have nothing left.
Balikpapan, 15 November 2020
Faizah Riffat ---- your blogger friend.
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